Time is treasure that liquifies and slips through our fingers. No matter how big our cup, how fast our movement, we can't seem to scoop up the gilded molecules of yesterdays or Today or RIGHT NOW. When we are young, we either don't notice or don't care. Or maybe we believe Time is a "renewable resource." As we grow older we become gradually aware of the priceless value of Time. Our treasure appreciates as we reminisce about our High School Years, College Days, When We Were Single, Before Children, Before We Gained Weight, Before Cancer, After Divorce, and When He or She Was Still Alive. We evaluate ourselves by the number of "moments" we have checked off our arbitrary Life Timeline. Our eyes look forward to anticipate the next big event, then back to relive the last one. But what about today? What about NOW?
This year, I want more time with the people I love and doing the things I enjoy most. I want to see my mom and Joe more than once a year, or every other year. Meet halfway, plan a family trip. Something. I want the dad I know to come back. He has not been himself in a very long time...and for many good reasons...but now it's time to move forward making many more great memories. Selfishly, I want Sage to have happy times with her only grandfather. David's dad will always be alive in photos and recollections, but she can never make new memories with him. With my dad, she can. Beautiful moments. Togetherness. I want more time with my brother. Not let-me-come-watch-you-play-music time. At least not all the time. One time on a whim he, David and I went to the aquarium at Fair Park. Such a great, spontaneous and educational experience for everyone! Those are the types of moments I want.
I want more time to celebrate Life with extended family and friends. I want more time to write, to run, to admire my little girl. To sit quietly and watch the sun rise or set, to chuckle at my dog's elation as he sprints full-throttle along the beach. To be grateful just to be Me. I also want to get back every moment I was selfish and hurt someone. Every moment I felt angry or hurt, not because someone genuinely wronged me, but because my damn insecurities tricked me into feeling offended. I want to erase the years of silence between friends...years we lost because we were too stubborn to say "I'm sorry" and "I love you" and "Let's go play!" And I especially want back those slivers of time when I felt unworthy of love or happiness or success. What is that Degas quote about self-doubt being an insidious enemy? Give me back those moments and let me continue to savor my life Now and Tomorrow without fear or pettiness. Definitely without self-doubt. I do not, however, want more time to clean. Ha...sorry, this post was starting to get a little too heavy.
The guiding principle of our mobile journey, I suppose, is a quest to capture Time. Purging possessions is symbolic of shedding responsibilities and preoccupations that rob us of precious time with the people and experiences that bring us the greatest joy. Downsizing to a tiny-home-on-wheels enables us to spend less time cleaning, organizing, decorating, building, deconstructing, maintaining -- all the obligations of owning a home. Instead, our chores steal only moments from our day, leaving the rest of the day to be spent as we choose. (That is, as long as the energy and connectivity infrastructure is reliable and intact.) Downsizing also allows us to model the principles of environmental stewardship we embrace: to conserve, preserve, restore and celebrate Nature. But our new "lifestyle" goes one step beyond...we conserve, preserve, restore and celebrate the fundamentals of a happy life together.
I have taken enough time talking about...well...time. Time for me to go spend some beautiful time with my precious angel preparing for Christmastime. Wishing you and your family plentiful happy times RIGHT NOW, today, this holiday season, and beyond.