Tuesday, January 11, 2011
A Better Mom
Like Odysseus, I must confront dragons each day. Some are work-related, some family-related, but all are pertinent to my world. New day, new dragon. And after each battle I feel stronger and wiser and braver. Like the SuperMe. Recently I discovered that I am becoming a better parent. More effective parent, especially. Living in a small space forces you to resolve conflicts immediately. Temper-tantrums, too. My tactics dealing with them have changed and Sage seems to be responding well. Before, I tried talking in a soothing voice and reasoning with her. That worked when she was younger. As she has grown, so has the intensity of her fits. I still try to calmly reason with her first, then I opt for the firmer tone with less explanation. That usually stops the insanity, but not always. Oh yes, I have had to raise my voice but in a controlled manner. In a way that says, "I'm the parent and if you could not hear me before, let me turn up the volume a notch." I don't scream or resort to meanness or name-calling. Not only is it inappropriate, but it reveals my patience threshhold. Once a child knows that point she may try to push you past it in order to get what she wants. Only a couple of times has she been spanked, and it was totally ineffective. I don't like it, she doesn't like it, and it doesn't work anyway. Plus, why would you hit a child to punish her for hitting? Seems a little hypocritical to me. I'm sure our game plan will adapt again as Sage continues to grow and her independence becomes fortified. I'm ready for the challenges. Bring on the dragons! SuperMe is armed with patience and love; and I'm wielding knowledge.